Humility.

So you probably haven't noticed (I don't know why you would) but I skipped the Christlike attribute of Humility. I should have written this weeks ago but it has been such an incredibly humbling (duh) experience that I haven't felt able to share it until now. 

Humility is putting your trust in the Lord and having complete confidence that He knows you and will only require of you what you can handle. I have had many trials and sad events that have happened in the lives of people I love these past few weeks. They have all shown so much faith and I recognize their humility and willingness to submit themselves to the Lord and accept His will. It is humbling to me to see their examples during their trials. I know the Lord loves them and I see His hand in comforting them. I'd like to share a few of their stories.

The first story has to do with Heidi. I have mentioned her story before but about three weeks ago I was able to participate in a run her family put together in honor of her. It was all the way in California so Heidi's mom put together a van here in Provo to take my roommate and I, a bunch of Heidi's friends from California, and three of her siblings (and their husbands/fiancee) all the way to Rocklin. Then, she even arranged for my roommate and I to stay with her and her family (yes, all 11 of them) in the house of an old friend that we knew from Illinois. Now that was humbling enough. To have someone do so much for me, just so I could honor and show my love for a dear friend was amazing. We had as great of a weekend as we could have had in the situation, but I will always cherish that memory. It was incredible to see how Heidi's family had overcome the pain and sadness of losing a daughter and a sister and were able to be examples of faith, hope, and love to all that knew Heidi and even those who had never met her. Something that Heidi's mom said at the race really impacted me. Heidi died of a pulmonary embolism that had moved from her leg to her lungs. After the autopsy, it was discovered that Heidi had many blood clots. Her family was all tested and it turned out that blood clots ran in their family. Heidi's oldest sister, who was very pregnant at the time of Heidi's death, was found to have a blood clotting disorder. Now, blood clots are very dangerous, especially postpartum. Heidi's sister could have very possibly died giving birth to her daughter. Heidi's mom expressed her belief that Heidi was such a kind, caring, giving person, that she could see Heidi volunteering to sacrifice her life for her sister. If Heidi hadn't passed away at the time she had, the blood clotting disorder may not have been discovered until it was too late. I can't express how incredibly humbling this thought is. I knew Heidi and I agree with her mom completely. Heidi is an amazing, beautiful, person who will always be an example to me. Heidi's story makes me think about my own life and really puts into perspective what things truly matter. I love Heidi and will always be grateful for her faith and her humility.

This entire experience reminded me of another being's great sacrifice, whose example has also blessed me with humility--My Savior. Jesus Christ knows and has experienced all my trials that I have had and will have, he has experienced Heidi's families' sadness, and he has felt the pains and sufferings of all of God's children. ALL of them. It is truly indescribable what He has done for me and all of us. It's one of my life wishes to be able to fully comprehend the magnitude of this sacrifice. Jesus Christ truly understands what we have all gone through. It is so humbling to me to know that My Redeemer knows EXACTLY what I will go through and I can turn to Him for peace. He understands me and He is my advocate to the Father. There is nothing that I could ever do to repay Him for His sacrifice and love for me. Absolutley nothing. All I can do is be forever humble for His gift and not waste it by living the best life I can. 

As a missionary, I don't think its even possible to teach with the Spirit if you don't have humility. I'm going to Spain not because I feel like its my duty or because I want to be like "everybody else" who is going on a mission, or even because its something I just decided I wanted to do. I'm going because I know it is the Lord's will. He wants me to be his humble servant and that's who I'm going to be. I will teach His children and help them return to Him. I am humbled by the examples of the thousands of missionaries before me and their hard work to build the Lord's kingdom. I am humbled by the faith and hope and strength of Heidi's family. I am humbled by everyone I know and their endurance and faith through their trials. But most of all, I am humbled by my Savior. Words cannot describe my gratitude and love for Him. 


*Sidenote: I wanted to share more stories but frankly I'm exhausted and will just have to save their examples of faith for another time. Stay tuned! ;) *