Virtue.

This week I tried to work on developing the Christ-like attribute of virtue. As I was searching the scriptures, I came across a verse in Doctrine and Covenants that became my "theme" this week as I thought about instances where I have exhibited virtue or could exhibit more virtue in my life. In Chapter 121, verse 46 it states that if you have virtue, "The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion..." The part about the Holy Spirit being my constant companion really struck me. I thought about times in my life where I have not been virtuous, where I have not thought clean or uplifting thoughts, where I have not allowed the Spirit to dwell with me. And now that I think about it, during those dark times of my life, I didn't even have a desire to be virtuous. I settled with being "pretty good." It didn't bother me when I listened to songs with swear words, it didn't bother me when I did homework on Sundays, it didn't even bother me when I forgot to pray in the morning. But now, those things do bother me. Ever since I've come to Brigham Young University I have started to become (slowly, very slowly) a better person. Especially as my mission grows closer, I have realized that who I am is NOT good enough. I need to be worthy and close to the Spirit and my Heavenly Father not only for me, but for those people who I will serve. They deserve someone who is righteous and who is not a hypocrite. I need to have been practicing the things I will teach investigators about. Time and time again, I learn in Mission Prep that we cannot teach others the Savior's words until we first learn and practice His word (D&C 11:21). This semester I have been trying SO hard to follow Christ's teachings and follow the commandments and the words of the Prophet Thomas S. Monson. Now, I feel horrible whenever I forget to say my morning prayers. I can't go long before I have to stop and say a prayer, even if I'm in a class. And I am so grateful for that.
This week I have tried extra hard to be close to the Spirit. On Sunday, I fasted and was able to meet with the Stake President to send in my mission papers. I prayed so hard all that day that everything would go well and that I would be found worthy. After  I found out my papers were sent in, I prayed long and fervently that the Lord would remember me and inspire the member of the Quorum of the Twelve who would make my call, that he would feel the Spirit and know where I would be able to best serve. On Wednesday, we were learning about personal revelation in Mission Prep class and I felt an impression that I should go to the temple later that day (I'm still pretty proud of that). I kind of brushed it off because I knew I was already planning on going with my roommates the next day and I had a lot off homework to do, but I went anyway. Nothing incredible happened when I went (I mean, I didn't see angels or anything), but my call was made the next day so maybe Heavenly Father was preparing me spiritually for that experience. I feel very blessed to be at a point in my life where I can receive revelation and feel prompted to act on them.  I'm still not very good at recognizing all of Heavenly Father's spiritual promptings but I'm definitely improving and I hope to be completely confident by the time I go on a mission. I'm grateful for the Spirit in my life and I will continue to work hard every day to be virtuous and worthy of the Spirit's presence.

On a side note: The next day, I went to the temple again and the minute I stepped into the lobby of the temple, I received a text from my Bishop saying my mission call was made! I'm so excited and I can't wait to find out where the Lord decided to send me!